SO, WE HAVE ANOTHER ELECTION (BREAKING NEWS)

In another surprise u-turn the government have announced that they will after all be taking part in televised debates about the general election. A spokesperson said “the government recognises that more needs to be done to involve young people in politics”. To this end the general election has been put on hold for 6 months. The Conservatives have recruited Ant and Dec and there will be 2 resignations in safe seats and by-elections to allow them to become MP’s. One of them will then replace Theresa May as PM and the other will be Brexit Minister. It is rumoured that both have been promised knighthoods. In the Labour party Diane Abbott will replace Jeremy Corbyn in recognition of her sparkling performances on BBC Question Time. Baby face Tim Farron said “there will be no change at the top of the Liberal Democrats, but then I have never been known to stand back when I see a camera or the chance of a sound bite”. For the SNP Nicola Sturgeon has just been told to shut up. The BBC are working on a new format for the debates based on the Pointless Celebrities quiz show and hosted by Alexander Armstrong. Also in the pipeline is a voting system allowing people to vote via a phone app. as young people cannot be expected to go out and vote in a draughty church hall with a pencil and paper, especially if it is raining. There were those who wanted the general election vote to be run in the same way as the voting for Master Chef and Strictly Come Dancing and this being considered, but there are some technical difficulties to overcome first.